Connection
We took the family on a beautiful hike. Up and down the hills of the nature center we would pause to wonder. Wonder at the flowers coming out of the rock wall. Wonder at the old tree trunks strung across the forest like balance beams. Wonder at our once shy daughter exploring it all. Wonder at our teens that we had to force to come but actually were enjoying themselves. There is something about outside. There is something about wonder. There is something about this feeling of connection.
Since the pandemic we’ve been hiking a lot. It was the only thing as a family we found we could do that we all felt safe about. The fresh air and exercise are bonuses to the main goal; to get us out of the house for a spell. I’ve come to enjoy these little journeys and what God speaks to me amidst his creation. I find, my ears are more open. I also find our hearts are more tender to each other in these experiences.
Like many of you, day in and day out I am here tending to the home. Cooking the meal and folding the shirts. I’m organizing schedules and creating meal plans. I’m sitting in the car line realizing what I forgot on the grocery list and then figuring out where soccer practice is. In my margin I’m squeezing in work. In all of these days in and days out of nearness to each other, none of it really embraces connected-ness.
Our mealtimes can be hit or miss depending on the moods of everyone around the table. It might be wild; where my husband and I can’t hear each other talk. Or it’s quiet after a long day of school and work (we like to call this, Monday). It might be my beloved and I enduring teenage sarcastic remarks from here to kingdom come. Whatever the case, we’re together but not experiencing togetherness.
Though every day when I create our meal, I still hope dinner will foster relationship. I intentionally craft dinner with every inkling of love. Weary from the day I set the table, remembering also to manage my expectations. I know full well that the conversations have a lot of potential to center around math problems (cue my inner eye roll) and the latest happenings on mine craft (Lord, have mercy).
On these hikes though, I have found it much easier to relate to my people than around the dinner table. It isn’t until we get out of our own spaces that we get out of our own heads. And it isn’t until we use our bodies that we reactivate our spirits. It isn’t until we are holding little hands and gawking at cardinals that connection actually happens.
Sometimes, it isn’t until these moments out that I find my older ones to be…hilarious.
It takes a step out of the mundane for us to have a new perspective on each other. Even if we start out dragging our feet, we will end up refreshed. We will end up a little more bonded. A shared experience is worth gold if you ask me. It fills up the banks of relationships and memory.
I think that’s what’s been harder this year. The lack of shared experiences have us a little empty on connection and memory making. We are so used to being at home. It has been easier to just stay home. The more I gain when we step outside together, the more I realize what we have lost by taking the easy way out and staying in routine.
“It is not so much the beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanates from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.”
Spring break is just around the corner and like many of you I am combing through winter clothes looking for flip flops and swim goggles. In the back of my mind, I can feel the excitement build. It’s not the break from work and house that bubbles below the surface. Lets be honest, I’ll still be mom during this vacation (and someone has to make the easy mac). There is an anticipated joy stemming from this idea of experiencing wonder with my family.
At first I found it funny and almost daunting, this idea that we are about to get more time with the people we’ve already had a lot of time with! It worried me. I didn’t want to hear the same squabbles we have had all year in between these walls. But I have decided I am not allowing that thought to lead. If there is anything these little hikes have taught me, is to let the potential for connection lead.
My longing for connection surrenders to the vision that my daughters will splash in the ocean waves. That my sons giddy will erupt at his first plane ride. That we will peer out at water views and decide what adventure we want to have for the day. We will put memories in the banks of our children to draw on for years to come. And that will create a multitude of connection.
Maybe many of you are in the same place. Gearing up for a vacation and searching for sunscreen. Or perhaps you are preparing for a stay cation at home; knowing you’ll have a week of time together to rest, work and play. It could even be you and your spouse, and the idea of Spring Break doesn’t quite hit home, but the idea of a deeper connection does.
As we take a look at the break ahead or even just the weekend before us…I wonder if there is a walk to take that would bless your soul? Is there a park to visit to ignite your spirit? Could there be fun to embrace that will create memories with the one that’s sitting next to you? Will lingering on the smell of old tree trunks do the trick…?
If we step out of the comfortable place of home we can find the smallest of adventures. And little treasures will burst forth from moments of easy intention; like laughing at the same joke, the dripping of a chocolate ice cream cone on little chins, the planting of seeds in your together tilled garden, or the car ride full of french fries and music.
Let us not leg go of creating experiences that foster connection. Day in and day out, big and small; there is a wonder all around us to spark our spirits and ignite our relationships. Wherever you are. Wherever you are heading. Whoever you are with. I hope you will follow the fun and find connection, in the making of a simple memory.
And may it bless your spirit so.
If these sentiments ring true for you, perhaps you’ll join me in reflection…
Here are some journal prompts for you to set your intentions for connection:
Who do you want to spend intentional time with?
When do you feel connected to them the most?
What experience did you last have with them that brought joy?
What’s something you could do together?
Once you’ve done all the reflecting, make a plan. Grab your people and go. Connection is sure to follow. And perhaps, you’ll find a little wonder in along the way.
