I am allowed to take up space.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It resonates with me to my core. I don’t know why I do not know this. Like, know this know this.

When someone bumps into me I typically respond, “oh sorry, my bad!” Seconds later I realize, wait, am I apologizing when someone just pushed me? If I barely let myself take up space physically, then how do I allow myself to take up space mentally or emotionally?

I am a work in progress friends. Thankfully, we all are. And so this little mantra means something to me.

Is it just an empaths plight, I wonder? A common reaction of being accustomed to making myself small. Or, could it mean something to all of us?

Space could mean my voice, my thoughts, my concerns, my passion, my feelings, my body. There is room for me in this world to be heard, seen and known. We know this in our heads, but I am not so sure we know this in our hearts.

Whether its around a conference table or a kitchen table, a turn on the gym equipment or in the bedroom, a question in the doctors office or for your boss…we, deserve space!

Recently my husband started taking guitar lessons. He already knows how to play guitar but he wanted to get better. After diving a little deeper he shared that our calendar was so full of everyone else’s things, he just wanted something for himself.

We chatted how we often drive everyone else to their sports and hobbies (4 kids means 4 sports a season and believe me it’s a calendar filler)! How we make room for others schedules and often we adjust ours to meet the needs of other people (we suffer from people pleasing) and it was totally understandable that he might crave some space too.

I feel really proud of him. For what might seem like a small accomplishment, is actually a huge stride toward something really important.

If we are inclined to shrink back on the daily and forget to give ourselves space, then the first step to healing is to claim some of it back.

Because…

• If we always put others first, we might never honor our own needs and values.

• If we put others opinions above our own (even if our gut is telling us different) we may never learn to trust our gut.

• If we let others choose everything, we might forget that we are capable of making good decisions.

• If we let others always plan the fun, we might forget what we enjoy.

• If we are quiet in a moment only to kick ourselves later, we end up with regret.

• If we don’t advocate for ourselves in small ways, we might not give ourselves a chance in bigger ways.

I don’t know about you but when it really matters, I want to be able to meet my needs, trust my gut, know my worth, feel empowered and advocate for myself and others.

I have it on good authority that we were created to love ourselves as well as loving others. To love the things we love and do the things that make us, us. To choose to embrace what brings us life and take up our own special quirky kind of space on this earth!

So, let’s practice taking up a little.

A few ways to try could be…

Share your heart in a deep conversation where you’ve been listening for awhile.

Give your feelings some room, to be felt.

Use your voice to speak up and be heard.

Plan the date you’ve been longing to go on.

Share that great thought you have!

Raise your hand!

Step forward to be called on.

Take a seat in the front row!

I bet you have good ideas. And I bet you deserve a turn too. AND I bet it would be nice to have a good view!

I know without a shadow of a doubt no matter what you or I’ve been told, that there really is enough space for me and for you.

And the world is much much better, when we ALL fill it.

Name a time when you wanted to speak up, but didn’t and why.

Where do you feel you are afraid to take up space?

When do you feel the most heard?

Whom in your life is validating?

Are there spaces you physically shrink back?

Is there one area in your life where you want more space?

What is one way you can grow in this area?