Be Your Own Hero
What happens when you become the hero in your own story?
For so much of my life, I have been a reactive participant, often giving power and influence to anyone else in the room, other than myself. And more often than not, especially as I’ve gotten older, I've realized that what I thought, knew, and almost said would have actually produced a better outcome.
When I am at a fork in the road, like most, I turn to others for help. This is a normal thing we do, of course. But I even do it for the smallest of things, often for things I already know the answer to. Am I just scared to trust myself?
Why?
How do we lose trust in ourselves, in our gut, in our feelings, in our logic… when we know and can feel and sense when something's not right or when something is? And how do we get it back? I think trusting ourselves takes practice.
Recently, I’ve taken a leading role in my life. It is constantly challenging, albeit, but I am trying. The hardest thing about this is deciding to be proactive and making decisions when you don’t really know if they are going to turn out the way you hope, or not. It all feels like a big gamble. It feels risky. The what-ifs can haunt your heart like a cavity on Halloween night; it's distracting.
I am certain, though, that the more I practice stepping forward, speaking up, making decisions, betting on myself... the more I will be able to do it when it really matters. And that is what I am building toward.
This may seem like some out there cheesy idea, this whole "be your own hero" thing, but I think it can be used in a multitude of ways. Especially for those who need encouragement to take the lead. In the simplest form, it could be speaking up at a meeting, picking out where to eat at a restaurant or, at home, taking charge of your calendar.
For example: I want to have a fun summer!
I have all of these dates flying at me, from kids' camps, work trips, to volunteer schedules. So instead of letting others' schedules and priorities dictate what my summer is going to look like, I can decide what I want to do and make a plan. And then I hold tight to the things that are important to me and keep them in place. You have no idea how hard this is for someone like me, who will bend over backwards to make something work out for someone else, but it is something I am working on.
The truth is, I’ve learned what it feels like to not take charge of my own life from experience. Many summers, by the end, I feel like a trampled-on towel cast aside and overused by the kiddie pool. I have gotten so overwhelmed with the needs of everyone else and in charge of both the happiness of all the humans in my family and doing a good job with my work, that there was no time left for summer fun.
If you’ve been here awhile, you know that I lamented about this last year and ended up squeezing in some summer fun at the very end! (click here to read the post Summer Magic)
I do not want this to be a repeat.
And the only way to make that happen is for me to change. For ME to lead. And in this very small way, be the hero of my own summer!
My son actually just showed me some of his end-of-the-year artwork, and you know what one of the images was? Us going to Soak City (one of my last-ditch efforts to have fun with my kids). It made an impact on him too. It’s too important for me not to lead with what I know is important for us; to make memories and not be so busy that we miss it.
As one would expect, I’d like to turn the conversation to your side of the table. Are you really good at leading your own life? Do you, like me, often put others' needs and answers above your own? Are there areas where you too, could trust yourself a little more?
If this speaks to you:
Take time to journal about where you might like a little more ownership in your life.
Which area needs this type of support: Work, home, school, personal?
What is a small step (or two) you could take that will get you there?
Just for kicks…
Imagine you have begun to trust yourself in an area in your life that in the past you’ve felt insecure. What does it feel like? What has changed?
Let this moment be the nudge that gets you closer to creating the life that you actually want.
We have all been created with personalities, tendencies, gifts, and power to wield in this world. It’s up to us to step into them though. I am confident there’s plenty of space for you to fill in this role and I am pretty sure, there’s a cape with your name on it, waiting for you.
XO
Jenna
