Changing with Change
This fall weather is like a salve to my soul I didn’t know I needed. It feels that way every year. The crisp air makes everything better. Everything seems renewed, like there are new chances ahead with every breath.
Outwardly this season of change flaunts its colorful brightness and we gobble it up in admiration. Change happens over and over - inwardly and outwardly - consistently showing up in our lives. Yet, so many of us fear actual change. It’s a hard thing for us. And, as much as we want to resist it, it’s the one thing that pushes us to show our true colors.
One of my favorite movies of all time is “You’ve Got Mail” and though there are MANY quotes in this movie that make me laugh, there is one about change that marks this pain point well.
As Meg Ryan sinks to her floor with a bowl of soup in hand, devastated from losing her book store, she remarks, “People are always saying change is a good thing. But all it really means, is that something you didn’t want to happen, has happened.”
Although I am a person who often welcomes change, who will get bored if nothing changed, there are certainly some changes that are not the ones I would welcome. Some changes even a positive person like myself, just can’t coin in a glass half full kind of way.
Well, recently I have been met with said change. I have gone through the gamut of emotions in its resistance. My leaves have turned all kinds of red, but not in the stunning way that graces a Maple in Autumn.
As time passes I wrestle with the push and pull of what I wish was different, but cannot control. This struggle, coupled with the persistence of time, has caused me to wonder. You see typically I would feel inclined to keep my opinions as is and hold on tight to them. Because, I feel wronged and, aren’t I always right? (Ahem, wink wink).
But then, I’d stay stuck.
So the question is, how do I want to rise above this situation? And, is there something to learn? Is it helpful to hold on to my reactions because it seems to me if I don’t change my thinking, my feelings will also stay unaltered. If I don’t allow this scenario to teach me, then I may end up in the same scenario later in life, without any proven tools in my belt.
Staying the same, having the same view point and not adjusting; doesn’t seem helpful at all.
As I take on this challenging journey, I noticed a few subtle shifts inside taking place. Along with a couple of “aha” whispers, an inner softening has begun. A softening that sometimes curdles back up because, hey I’m human, but a softening no less.
I’m finally letting go of a few things; A few thoughts of struggle, a few ideas of entitlement, a few feelings that kept me from loving well. Some of my edges are melting.
It’s amazes me that once I accepted the reality that; the change was inevitable and the only thing that was up to me, was my response, everything shifted.
Like the Irish blessing says, “give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference…” I am suddenly feeling empowered. Growing, learning and becoming a little more free in my heart have been the result. Maybe, even, a little more wise too.
Just like all the fun decor and pumpkin displays on porches I look forward to seeing, I also am anticipating the new decorations of my heart. When she’s a little less stuck and a little more open to the the teachings of a hard change - and can welcome the new season ahead with grace.
I guess sometimes we have to clean out the cobwebs of our front porch before we are really ready to glow from the inside out. So here’s to the preparing work of our hearts, the growing that will come from change, and the soft light that inevitably follows. In many ways, the jack o lantern metaphor fits here perfectly. You know what I mean?
So, I ask you friend…
What’s a change you are struggling with?
Are there feelings you find yourself wrestling?
Can you shift your perspective a hair, and open up room for softening?
And, what is something you are looking forward to this fall?
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
