Love Thyself

May 14

It had been a long time since I had heard any encouraging words or pats on the back. As a mom those are hard to come by, in the work world you can get accolades from a job well done...but at home..no one really notices that you finally carried the baskets of laundry upstairs. Even at work though, people might not realized you crushed a project or nailed an event, they might even give someone else the credit.

Regardless of where your affirmations have the potential to come from, we all need them from time to time. I am not living for the approval of others, but it sure helps to hear once in a while, that you are seen, known and loved.

It had been a hard and lonely couple of months, and I had been writing birthday cards to friends, lavishing them with kind words and affection from my heart. I soon realized, this was something that I had been needing. So I un-apologetically wrote myself a card of love.

I wrote in third person as if I was my own best friend and it was my birthday. I shared all the reasons why I loved me. I recalled kind words I had heard other people say in my life at one time, and wrote those down too. I reminded myself of what a loving mom I am and how I am a loyal friend. I called out personality traits I thought were unique and lovely, and I filled this card to the brim with affirmation.

At first what was such a silly idea that I almost let pass in my head, became this self love therapy to my soul. I’m a 40 year old women whose love language is words and when that bucket lives on empty for a long time, I can really get in my head about it. Sometimes, I think, we have to take care of our own hearts in ways only we know we need it.

Other people don’t know what you need, they aren’t going to guess at your needs, and even if you communicate them they still might not be able to meet them. I don’t care how desparate it sounds, I think it’s okay to love yourself well. And maybe in little ways like this, it can really count for something.

I stuck that card in my bible as a bookmark and every day I open up to it, along with a letter from a friend of mine who passed away and dried flowers from one of my kids. Whenever I am feeling dismayed, I pop open that little letter and fill my thoughts with positive reminders of why I matter, who I am and how I show up in this world.

Reading kind words about myself creates new scripts for my thought life. And they help to replace the negative narrative we often can play in our heads. Of course I would love to be lavished with encouraging words from others, but maybe it means even more…

coming from me.