The Power of Questions

Questions.

Have you ever noticed how one question can steer a conversation? If you are looking to get to know someone and you ask them about their kids sports, you might hear a little bit about their schedule but you won’t actually get to know them.

Questions can be surface and they can be engaging. If you have the opportunity to catch up with a friend or meet up with someone new, why not think what you want to know about this person, and the type of question that will get you there. 

Do you want to know more about their story, the hardest part of their current season, where they are in their faith, what they feel their calling is or what their passions are? You won’t get to know that by asking them about their most favorite color. 

Questions are the tools to navigate a conversation. A good question can bring about understanding instead of assumptions. A question can help someone feel cared for. A question can make a person feel known. 

Have you ever gone to a dinner hoping to share something that was on your mind or new in your life...only you never got a chance to share it? Is it because, no one bothered to ask? 

I think a deeper connection with each other is a missing part of our stories. With the convenience of online updates, the hiding from the pandemic, and all of the things that come in between seeing people, it’s so easy to lose real connection. And so often we can feel like no one knows what’s going on in our lives. 

But we have to keep trying. We have to be intentional. And we have to ask the right questions if we are going to grow deeper in connection. 

I’ve known some really great question-askers in my day, and I always walk away from those conversations feeling a little more known. And I’ve known others who never seem to ask me any questions, and I walk away the same as when I entered our time together, unseen. 

Studying these amazing questioners in my life has helped me realize why they are so dang good at relationships, they ask. 

The conversations end up more meaningful, because they aren’t just asking to keep the conversation going, they are asking with the intention to know someone better. And when you know someone better, you can go on the journey with them. Connect with your journey and forge together a deeper knowing of each others experiences.

It takes a little bit of forethought before hand of course and the desire to want this deeper exchange, but if you look around realizing you want more intimate relationships, interpersonal communication is key. 

All it takes...is having a real question that will lead to a real answer. An open ear, soft heart and understanding often comes next, but a deeper friendship is sure to follow.